I meet many parents who tell me they feel insecure speaking with their children about spiritual concepts or even just answering simple questions about life.
I feel fairly comfortable guiding my kids in their schoolwork, appearance, and eating habits and I bet you do, too. I’m sure most of us are not nutritionists, but I sure come across as one when I speak to my kids about what to eat and what not to eat. I’m equally sure most of us are not fashion designers, but I know very well what doesn’t match. So why do we have such a hard time advising our kids about the more meaningful issues of life?
It doesn’t need to be this way. Today, thanks to the work of Rav and Karen Berg, the secrets of life are more accessible than ever before, and this knowledge has been translated and brought down to a level that each and every one of us can understand. Furthermore, all the basic spiritual concepts and the universal spiritual laws of the universe are available for children in their own language through the Spirituality For kids programs.
One thing that can help us to have a strong relationship with our children is a common spiritual language and frequent conversations about life. Let’s not miss out on this perfect opportunity to bond!
Below are few pointers for how we can approach our kids’ questions and how we can talk with them about spiritual matters:
- Always say, “That’s a good question!” Every question is a good one, so make sure you take your child’s question seriously and don’t make them feel it is stupid, ridiculous, or very easy to answer. You want to awaken and keep nourishing your children’s desire to know and learn. In some cases, moreover, you may need to rein in your older kids if they are around while your child is asking the question to make sure they don’t mock or otherwise put down their younger sibling.
- Don’t send your child to get an answer from someone else. They almost certainly won’t. The moment a child asks a spiritual question is the moment when his or her soul and heart are open. So even if there is someone more knowledgeable than you, your child has chosen to open up to you and might not feel comfortable asking anyone else. Moreover, in most cases, they won’t remember the question later on or, worse yet, might not feel the urgency to know the answer after that special window closes. If you don’t have the answer on the spot, then tell your child you will find out more and get back to them.
- Admit you don’t know everything or that there may be several opinions about the matter. Admitting to not knowing the answer or exposing your child to diverse opinions is an important part of the process of learning and discovering. If you don’t know the answer, tell that to your child. Say you never thought about it before or perhaps never even heard about it and suggest that the two of you find the answer together. Sharing different point of views with your child helps to expand his or her understanding.
- Remember that the truth is always simple. We often don’t feel qualified to teach spirituality because we tend to see it as something deep and complicated. Yes, it is deep, yet at the same time, it is very simple. Rav Berg wrote in his last book Nano:
“Unfortunately, most of the time when a simple truth is presented to us, it often goes right over our heads; we are conditioned to overcomplicate our lives, to gravitate toward chaos. We have been taught that if something is complicated and intellectually demanding, it must be true. This mistaken notion stands between us and the glorious destiny that awaits us. Remember: the truth will always be simple.”
- Recognize your child’s natural spiritual essence. Children are chronologically closer than adults to the time they were in their mother’s womb learning all the secrets of life and their purpose. They don’t have the same veils we adults have. In fact, it is we, the adults, that many times veil our own children with our logic and doubts.
- Always remain a student. The best way to be a teacher is to always think of ourselves as students. Our children’s questions should awaken and elevate our own consciousness. Being grateful, seeing the Light in everything, acknowledging that we are limited and don’t see the whole picture, and continually learning will make us the best teachers for our children.